candyland

theres a fire in my stomach that isn't going out
as much as i puff and purr and
sitting on the couch in a nightgown of silk
i'll take in whats around me and think if
this is all that there is to my life
i want the change but at the same time i dont
i miss my old life
i miss so many things
i miss how i wasnt close to anyone
i miss not caring
i miss being a lot more carefree
i miss being trapped in a loop
a loop that to others could easily come off as boring and monotone
but to me was my life, and one i loved
now i've been thrown into a typical teenage life and i dont know what to do with myself
big change is coming soon
but i consider just sitting in my room smoking weed all day
the people i live with wouldnt bother to check on me so its not a problem
my change risks everything i know
and everything i knew
but change is inevitable and i just have to make it work, i guess.